how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
