Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
