He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
