so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
