I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
