I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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