About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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