I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize