You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
