smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
