I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
