Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
