I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
