this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
