new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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