No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
