If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dicks are not precious.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
