well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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