i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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