The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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