Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
