I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
