Im at strip club and am horny
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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