There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
