The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Randomize
