i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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