Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
