She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
