don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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