she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
