i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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