I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
