dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
