I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
