Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
