you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
