He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
did you just send me my own nude
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
