I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
