so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
a search helicopter?!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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