Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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