I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
