every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
