white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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