chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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