For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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