My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
