My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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