We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
