My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
