i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
