I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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